Oral Sex, from My Perspective

I have a sports blog on Blogger and, I have to say, WordPress is superior. I’m thinking of moving the sports blog over here. It’s just easier to find your own stats, see who’s linking to you, etc. I’m noticing, through my stats, that I’m getting A LOT of hits on the how-to guide to oral sex that I read back when I was literally a freshman, sitting in my residence hall’s computer lab on an October day. And, I have to say, I don’t blame those who click on the link. It really was instructive to me and probably will be to many, many husbands and boyfriends out there…who are directed to the site by their girlfriends or wives (judging by the comments to the post 🙂 ).

Here’s been my driving philosophy on oral sex: Most guys, honestly, just don’t listen or learn much from sexual experience. Most guys want theirs and don’t want to expend the effort to please someone else. This is probably evolutionary…and probably why guys, when done having sex, just pass out. It’s not in our nature to stay awake and take care of the woman. On the contrary, a woman cums and stays awake (usually) until the guy is done…and then passes out. In the end, regardless, the guy finishes. So, males get close to a 100% success rate during sex – in terms of orgasms – while women enjoy a much less favorable cum-to-sexual-activity percentage.

And, really, it makes sense. It’s in a male’s most basic nature to want to fuck, but it isn’t necessarily in our nature to please. I mean, really. I’m going to use a very not-sexy analogy here, but it’s relevant. Think about any farm that contains mammals – cows, sheep, etc. If you are a farmer and trying to raise cattle, how many males do you keep on the farm? 3? 4? How many cows? 50? 75? Males will fuck all of them happily, half in one day, if he can. The cows expect nothing in return for pregnancy. The males just move along to the next female, hoping for the next orgasm. This is the product of the human-left-brain equivalent in bovine species propagation. The left brain in humans is the logical side of the brain and is the one most linked to survival and sustainability. Less-intelligent species’ entire brains are analogous to the human left brain, meaning they exist simple to eat, multiply, and die. So, mammals that are less intelligent as a whole are more likely to just fuck and be done with it, no emotion involved. Simple, right?

The problem here is that the more-intelligent species – ie: humans – have a more-evolved brain. Human brains are split in half – half is the logic-and-survival half, half is emotive and associative. This is where humans and other species of mammals diverge. Humans still have the self-sustaining and multiplying drive, which is where the male tendency to fuck and sleep comes in. However, they also have the emotive drive, which leads them to do things like fall in love, empathize with others in need, etc.

Being a male exemplifies the differences in the two sides of the brain like nothing else I’ve ever seen. You have a strong desire to fuck but also a strong desire to care for someone else. However, the problem comes when you get an erection. It’s often said that males have two heads and enough blood to run one at a time. I’m guessing this is half right. When your cock gets hard, your more-primal senses are taking over, making you want to multiply. You aren’t much thinking with the right side of your brain at this point, which is why men often are very crass and selfish around this time. It’s hormonal. We have a goal and intend to meet it (sex). That rush of testosterone makes you think of nothing else besides sex. Now, the minute sex is over, the endorphine rush from the orgasm quickly gets swept away, leaving you exhausted and ready for bed…and your significant other wanting.

This is where humans can outperform their less-intelligent mammal friends. The right side of the brain, if you allow it, can take over and make you want to make someone else feel good, as well. Remember, the right side of the brain is the emotive and associative side. It allows you to feel another’s pain, predict another’s emotions, or share another’s pleasures. This right-brain impulse is there, if you let it drive you for only a few minutes after or before sex…and your woman will thank you many times over. You help her fulfill her hormonal impulses. You help her reach her selfish desires. In essence, you’re giving her exactly what you want. How do you get there? Well, I suggest a read through the guide, if you have time. However, if you’re just too lazy to read through it (and you really have to be lazy), here are the basic components of oral sex:

1. Foreplay
2. The tease
3. Fingers
4. The hood
5. The clit
6. The tongue
7. Suction
8. Rhythm
9. More teasing
10. The finish

If you can get it so that you make her want it, give it to her on your pace, use a little suction (and this will require some practice – the jaw muscles need to be built up), and rub that tongue all over her hood and clit at a rhythmic but deliberate pace, you’re golden. She will love you not only because you just gave her one hell of an orgasm, but because you took the time to learn how to do it correctly.

Now, I’ve known all of this for over 10 years and haven’t shared it with too many people…mainly because I was competing for the same women as them 🙂 Why they hell would I telegraph my next move and give up an advantage? I would have a weapon they didn’t even know existed. Hitler didn’t know Britain had ground-based radar in the late 1930s…and her majesty’s air corps destroyed a good chunk of the Luftwaffe as it attempted the cross-channel bombing. I can hear Hermann Goering now saying “how the FUCK did they know we were coming?” When you’ve found the secret, you don’t say a fucking word until it’s all done. I’m married, so the game is kind of up 🙂

Remember: Women are emotive creatures. You can’t rely on physical pleasure alone to please them. Even the most nymphomaniacal women still want attention paid to them, even if it does come in the bedroom. Penis alone isn’t going to do it, as they all know you’re satisfying yourself, too. Throw down some tongue, learn how to do it right, and wait for your woman to start anticipating sex just a little more.

Enjoy 🙂