A Woman’s Guide to Giving Oral Sex – Part 3, “Practice”

So, let’s recap what we’ve learned up to this point:

1. Men like to look at things – boobs, ass, pussy, and those things moving while we do dirty things with you.  Oh, and we like to watch you suck our cocks.
2. We like sexy attitude and the feeling that you want it as bad as we do.
3. The penis is a complex organ.
4. There is more to the penis than meets the eye.
5. The tongue is the most important part of the female anatomy…after boobs, of course :

Now that we’ve learned a bit about the male penis, it’s time to see what you can do to it, using the advice and information that I’ve provided in the two previous posts.

The tactics of giving a great blow job are relatively easy on their own, but synchronizing the movements in a way that is mind-blowing is probably the single largest impediment to most women’s success. Let’s look at the basic tactics that should be used in a blow job and then we’ll wrap them all up pretty when we get to the end, shall we?

There are a number of general tactics involved in a blow job. Here are the ones I can think of:

1. The tease
2. Preparation of the penis (stroking, licking, ice, etc.)
3. The insertion
4. Creating the vacuum
5. Down the pipe
6. Rhythmic motion
7. Using your hands as partners-in-crime
8. Things that don’t rhyme with “Venus”, for $200
9. Going the distance
10. Spit, swallow, or jerk-me-off good

As you can probably tell, this goes from start to finish and will cover the actual blow job itself.  I’ll toss in some tips or variants that might help you out a bit here.  However, let’s go down the items and talk about each one, shall we?  I won’t tell you what to do in each one, but give you an idea about what to expect from each part.  I’ll wrap it up with a scenario that will tie it all up in one place.

The tease.

Guys want and need to be horny to really enjoy a blow job.  In all truth, we need to be horny for you to enjoy it.  If we’re not, that’s more work for you, meaning some of that good ol’ fashioned lockjaw.  This should probably start out at the beginning of the day by putting some sexy underwear on under the business attire, leaving us a note, shaving your legs, putting on the sexy lipstick, etc.  This will make us think of sex all day long at work, meaning we’ll be DYING to put the kids to bed when we get home just to ravage you.  As I referenced before, your taking care of us will likely help us take care of you.  This means some pretty killer oral sex (guys – click here) for you.  All told, the tease is excellent preparation if you want to give him a great blow job and minimize your workload.  I mean, if you were about to go on a jog, doesn’t stretching out make it a better run?  Preparation is key, and preparing a guy’s mind means making him think about sex.  A lot.  I actually suggest this game to prepare the hell out of, well, anyone.  Especially dudes like me.

Preparation of the penis.

This should be obvious, but sometimes it isn’t.  This is where you go past the tease and start to play with my cock.  Be gentle, slide your hand down my pants…or take off my underwear slowly while kissing my stomach and hips…SHIT, another erection…anyway, you get the point.  Let me feel that sexy, smooth skin of yours touch my cock and wait for it to stand at attention.  If it takes a short while, use a little tongue or, if you can handle it, put your fingers in your wet pussy and rub that on me for a little while.  I’m obviously going to love it.  If you don’t want to do that (and I suggest you do), use a little tongue and lips…but don’t suck much.  Just enough to get me hard.  Start…stop…start again…OK.  Good to go.

The insertion.

Once I’m good to go, start to take me as far into your mouth as you can handle.  If you are able to open up your throat, do this.  This allows me to feel your entire tongue and mouth against my cock.  It’s wet and warm and reminds me of sex.  Period.  Begin to close your mouth around my cock and press your tongue against it.  Remember to breathe and relax.  This is probably where girls that can’t deep throat go wrong.  Too worried about gagging…and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Creating the vacuum.

Here you should make sure your mouth is sealed over my cock, then begin to pull your mouth muscles inward and create a vacuum.  Things brings the membranes in your mouth, along with your tongue, completely around my cock, making me feel the whole thing.  Remember – the more you touch, the better.  Stimulation is key…unless it’s around the penis head.  Then it kinda, um, sucks.

Also, keep in mind that as you close your mouth and create the vacuum, your teeth may close a bit, too.  This is OK as long as they don’t scrape much.  Teeth are actually much less of a problem to me the farther you go down my shaft.  So, I suppose if you can keep the teeth away until it’s all the way in, you’re OK.  Let the teeth rest a bit and just be conscious not to drag them later.

Down the pipe.

Once the suction is created and your lips, tongue, and mouth are all around my cock, take me further into your mouth or throat – as far as it will go.  This will signal to me what I should expect and will allow me to adjust my breathing accordingly.  Guys loved getting blow jobs…but also have a manly streak in them that makes us want to last at least a little while…but not too long.  So, if you’re going to be taking a lot of me into your mouth, I’ll want to think about, well, anything except sex (baseball, grocery store, Margaret Thatcher) to allow me to last as long as possible as I know it’s not going to be long before it’s all over.  I don’t want to be the oral-sex equivalent of the two-pump chump.  If you can’t take me in too far, I am free to think about sex a little more because I am not avoiding the thought and am actually wrapped up in what I’m doing.  You can get me thinking about baseball again by adding hand strokes, but more on that in a bit.

Rhythmic motion.

Make the blow job feel as much like sex as you can – wet, tight, and rhythmic.  With oral sex, on an evolutionary level, you’re probably just trying to trick my cock and brain into thinking I’m having sex.  And, on that level, it works.  So, make it feel like sex.  You don’t need to suck very hard – after all, your pussy doesn’t create a vacuum…I hope – but lack of any suction leads to exhaustion and more lockjaw, so strike a balance between making me yawn and me wondering if my penis head is going to pop off before it’s all over.  Bob up and down/back and forth while trying to maintain a rather constant feeling over the duration.  Obviously, be aware of what your partner is saying/moaning so that you can adjust accordingly.  Also, try to make it as comfortable on yourself as you can.  The longer you’re there, the better chance we have of coming

Using your hands as partners-in-crime.

This can be used by girls that deep-throat but is very important for those that don’t.  Like that old, Canadian sex lady says, use your hand as an extension of your mouth if your mouth isn’t available.  Just make sure that the part where you use your hand is good and wet.  I don’t want a wet blow job and a dry hand job.  That’s weird.

Anyway, you see this technique in porn a lot.  If you don’t believe me, go watch some.  I suggest Jenna Jameson.  I saw some of her older stuff (mid-90s) and she was a pro.  It essentially involves you placing a firm-yet-soft grip (with your good hand) on the base of my cock and putting your mouth on the rest.  As you move out, move your hand with it.  This will get your hand wet and allow you to move back toward the base again as you move forward.  This is pseudo-deep-throating and is the 2nd best thing in that department.  I wouldn’t try two hands, either.  It’s a cock, not a Double Cheeseburger.  Both hands will make it look like you’re eating it…but maybe that’s just me.  That other hand should be used elsewhere.  Speaking of which…

Things that don’t rhyme with “Venus”, for $200.

Remember, the more we feel, the better.  If you’re using one hand to hold onto my hips and the other to stroke my cock during the blow job, both hands are taken.  However, if you’re deep-throating, get the free hand out and use it for one of three things:

1. Pressing softly but deliberately against my perineum (under the balls, toward the asshole).  Press gently into the skin so you’re rubbing against the penis extended and move your fingers (2 or 3) back and forth along a 1-2″ area at the same rate you’re moving up and down my shaft.
2. Gently tugging on my scrotum (not the balls directly, that hurts).  The soft hands and edgy touch is hot.
3. Pushing a small object a short distance up my asshole.  Remember this pushes against the prostate.  If you move it slowly back and forth in rhythm, you’re fine.  I would not suggest that you do this if I’m standing, however.  That takes too much balance on your part and my ass will be clenched when I stand up.  I should be sitting on the edge of something or fucking your mouth.  If I’m fucking your mouth, you have both hands free, giving you all kinds of possibilities.

All told, do something that adds to it.

Going the distance.

Blow jobs take practice as the muscles build.  Expect the first few to be a bit uncomfortable.  However, with a little bit of practice, you’ll be fine.  You can practice on your own time (kinda like masturbation), as well.  Have fun with that   If you want to learn how to deep throat, I imagine it’s not much different than bonging /funneling beer.  The first try takes a leap of faith – opening your throat and allow that rush of beer was tough the first time.  However, you learn how to do it without yakking it all back up rather quickly (perfectly good beer, dammit!).  I’ve found that breathing properly was the issue.  So, perhaps practice by bonging a few beers?  I’m sure there’s a frat house around somewhere.  If not, a funnel and clear PVC tubing is probably available at Home Depot…

More seriously, though, blow jobs take muscle, technique, practice, patience, and perseverance.  Over time, you’ll be able to go the distance – which will grow steadily shorter as you gain skill and confidence – without much issue and you’ll have a very, very happy man starting back at you, waiting for you to remove your panties so that he can return the favor

Spit, swallow, or jerk-me-off good.

This is an area of the blow job where you hear a bunch of high-school kids banter about which girls suck it all down and which don’t.  Honestly, I think that swallowing is pretty hot…for the 3 seconds that I’m coming and she’s swallowing it.  After that, it doesn’t fucking matter.  Hell, before that it doesn’t fucking matter.  So, if I can handle a small amount of disappointment – no, a few seconds of decreased elation – I’ll let you pick your poison.  My wife jerks me off when I’m done and that’s perfectly OK by me.  Really, I think that spitting isn’t worth it at all.  You have to get up and run to the sink or toilet, which isn’t hot at all.  So, stop altogether and jerk me off or swallow it.  Either way, I’m good.

Stay tuned for the scenario.  I just ran outta gas tonight.  Enjoy!!!